Hurry up and wait.

Have you ever had moments or days or weeks like that, where everything seems to need to happen? Hurry up only to need to wait? There have been two major life changes are weighing on my mind.

First, I am pulling back from the religion that has defined me for so long. It's causing some of my relationships to redefine themselves and to become something new. It is messy, but necessary for me right now. 

Second, I have this great opportunity to go to George Mason University to complete my bachelors and earn a masters in about three years to become a Special Education teacher. I really want to do it, but I'm afraid. I am afraid of starting and not being able to finish. I am afraid of my boys being alone so much as I work full time and go to school, all while Ben is in Iraq. I am afraid of not having enough time to do all the things. I'm afraid that it's not going to be a good fit. So many fears.

Should I keep this to myself and write in my journal instead of a blog. Probably, but if you know me, that's not how I have ever been. Maybe by putting it out into the world I will get some answers. Some guidance. Some direction. A miracle from heaven where everything will workout without me having to make any decisions. You know. 

Plus. I don't think anyone reads this anymore. There's that.