I am not always aware I am afraid of something until I am faced with it, and then, I have a choice to face it, and overcome it, or remain afraid.
The week we left for Utah, there was a shooting at the grocery store we go to locally. There was a family involved, and a little girl (around Jack's age) was shot. In the article I was shown, there was a picture of a car-cart as part of the crime scene.
I didn't think that I was that affected by it, but as the weeks went on, I found myself avoiding the grocery store. Last night, we really needed to go to the grocery store, so we all loaded up and headed out. I was nervous. We parked, went into the store, did our shopping, and went home. Nothing happened. (That doesn't mean I was looking around for anything suspicious the entire time.)
I am not as nervous about going to the grocery store anymore. I am still uber aware of my surroundings, but it is not going to stop me from going out and living life. I faced this fear and moved on.
I am aware that we live in a place where there is violence. I know that there will be more shootings. I just hope they won't be so close to home.
