1.21.2011

I always have an excuse.

For the most part, I have really enjoyed my life and have few regrets.  I have made decisions based on what I felt was best for me in the situation I was in.  I am not perfect, and have made some choices that were probably not the best, but I can't go back and fix them.  However, I can learn from my mistakes, make better choices, and move on.

When Ben and I met, we were both attending a community college in Salt Lake.  It didn't take long for us to fall in love and get married.  We both continued to go to school full time and work full time, but I was getting worn out. I was tired and unmotivated, so I stopped going to school.   Time moved forward and I became pregnant and the thought of going back to school was pushed even further out of my mind.  I figured I would go when the kids were older, when we were settled somewhere long enough for me to attend classes. 

Then something happened.  I struggled for most of last year with anxiety and depression.  It was not a good year, and I found myself craving some sort of outlet.  Blogging was an excellent source of diversion; however, I was spending so much time on the computer with not much to show for it.  I wanted to do something for myself, and the idea popped into my head to go back to school.  I dismissed it because I didn't know how I would be able to do school and take care of the kids and everything else that a mom of two little boys has to do.  Then I was talking to a good friend who told me to just do it.  I talked to Ben and he said just do it.  Everyone I talked to said just do it.  So I did it.  I applied, was accepted a few days later and now I am taking two classes online.  It isn't much, but it is a step in the right direction.  For the last two weeks I have been getting back into the groove of reading textbooks, taking quizzes and being a student.  It has been great.  My amazing husband has been watching the kids as soon as he gets home so I can study.  He has even cleaned the kitchen each night!  I wouldn't be able to do it without him.

I realize that it would have been a lot easier to finish school when I had the opportunity the first time, but I didn't.  I can't go back and change that, but I can move forward towards the goal of finishing.  It might take several years, but that is okay.  I will do it.

That is why this blog has not been updated in awhile.  That and since the first of the year I have been reading the Harry Potter books.
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