7.20.2010

It's for the kids. And for me.

{Disclaimer:} This is completely my point of view, and not Ben's- his side of the story is somewhat different.  If you want to know his version, you can ask him. 

Ben and I met at in an International Politics class at Salt Lake Community College in Salt Lake City, Utah.  It was not love at first site, but he had two things going for him, the first being his incredible good looks.  The second, he made me laugh. 
We started dating in October of 2004 and at the end of the semester, I wasn't sure I was ever going to see him again. 
After our final, we were driving around, wasting time until his next final, and until I had to go to work.  I found a Christmas card in the center console, and asked him if I could look at it.  (I might be noisy, but at least I am polite?)  He didn't care.  It was from a girl, not just any girl, but the girl he had dated right before me. 

"When did you break up with her?"

"Right before we started dating."

"How long did you date for?"

"Eight months."

"How did you break up with her?"

"I just stopped calling her and answering her texts". 

"Is that how you usually break up with girls?"

"Yep."

So sad.  From the card, and Ben's response, I really felt that this poor girl might not know that Ben had really broken up with her, that she was trying as hard as she could to make contact with the love of her life. 

Okay, maybe that is a little dramatic, but I am pretty sure sometime in my dating career, I probably made a similar move. 

There we were driving at the end of the semester, I was going to home to Virginia for Christmas, and I was not sure I was ever going to see Ben again.  I was trying to figure out if he was going to break up with me, or actually keep up with the relationship.
Here was the plan during my almost two weeks in Virginia:
We were going to text on Christmas.
That was it.  I was really disappointed, I wanted to call him every day, but I let him decide so I wouldn't seem desperate.  (It was something I was working on from previous dating experiences.)

Christmas Eve came and it was getting late.  I was getting anxious, so about 9:30 p.m. Eastern Daylight Time, I texted Ben.  I waited and waited and waited and waited. 
NOTHING.
Nothing Christmas Eve, nothing Christmas Day, nothing.  I was mad, sad, but finally apathetic.  I was planning the breakup in my head.  I asked everyone in my family what they would do, given the conversation that we had about how he breaks up with people.  It was pretty mixed- half said I was over reacting, the other half told me to move on.
Finally, the morning I flew out, I called him and when he picked up the phone, I was a little surprised.  I simply said, "Oh, I was just checking to see if you were still answering my phone calls."  I don't even remember what he said, but it didn't matter.  In my head, he hadn't answered my text, and he hadn't called me the entire time I was gone -we were done.  Final.  I didn't even buy him a Christmas gift.  I was planning on hitting the after Christmas sales, but after that little no text stunt, there was no way I was wasting my money.
I flew home and that night he texted me and asked if he could come over the next day.  Sure, great, now we were going to do this in person. 
He came by early.  With gifts.  I looked at the gifts and told him I left the gift for him in Virginia.  Okay, it was a half lie.  Technically the gifts I would have bought him were still in Virginia. 
I couldn't stand the awkwardness in my head anymore. 

"Why didn't you text me?  You said you would text me on Christmas, and I didn't hear from you.  Are you going to break up with me?"
"What are you talking about, of course I texted you.  You responded to my text on Christmas Eve."

"Why are you lying to me?"

He pulled out his cell phone and showed me the text message he had sent me and showed that about ten minutes later, he received a text that seemed to be my response. 

"I didn't get your text, and I assumed you were breaking up with me because you didn't answer me back."

"I did text you."

"Well I was gone almost two weeks, why didn't you want to talk to me more than just one text?"

"Because you were with your family, and I thought you would want to spend time with them."

"Oh."

"Here are your presents, Merry Christmas."

"I will have gifts for you to open tomorrow."

"You didn't really leave them in Virginia, did you?"

"Well...kind of..."

"Don't you feel stupid?"

"Yes, but I really did think you were breaking up with me."

A few weeks after that, Ben told me he loved me, and a month after that, we were engaged.  Three months later, we were married. 

Dating.  Almost in Love.


Engagement picture.


Five years later.

I am so grateful that we (I) didn't let a little un-received text message end us. 
He is still strikingly handsome and he still makes me laugh.

{Another Disclaimer}  I read this to Ben.  He interrupted me at least ten times to tell me that it was not how it happened, and that I had it all wrong.  Just so you know, this is my version.  This is how it went down in my head, and now on the blog.  I told him if he wants to tell his side, he can.  It's up to him.  This is my version.

6 comments:

Z. Marie said...

Isn't it funny how we all remember things different ways? At least it all worked out for the best!

Just US said...

You guys are a great looking couple! Until Ben decides to blog about his version, yours will just have to be how it happened from here on out :)

Bryn said...

My husband remembers things differently too. I think the men are always wrong because women remember EVERTHING!! :)

I'm interested in hearing his side. Either way, good story!!!

Anja said...

soo cute, thanks for sharing your story! Have I told you how much I love your hair?!

Jessica said...

In the end its really our version that counts anyway...our hubbies can be SOOO clueless. You guys really do make a beautiful couple, I'm glad it worked out. :)

I broke up with my Ben the night before he proposed. I was tired of waiting. To calm me down he had to give away the surprise and tell me that he had the ring and was planning on proposing the next night. I decided to give him one more day to get his act together!

Emily Horrocks said...

ha! so cute! i like your side of the story - I think you have shared this with me before. i think it's good to have it out there..it's written down. I think ben should contribute his side though! he needs to be heard!

and by the way, I have just been using picnik.com for my picture effects. they have lots of FREE tools to use! I don't have a Premium account yet, so all the stuff I've done is the free stuff. It's addicting!

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