Seven years.

Ben and I have been married seven years. Today (well not today when you read this, but when I wrote it).  We are not doing anything to celebrate because we don't have anyone to watch the children. We could go out with the boys, but quite frankly the idea sends me into convulsions. They haven't been very well behaved the last few days, and with no escape, they have been rubbing my nerves raw.

My poor nerves.

Now is when Ben comes in and comments on how he has a "high respect for my nerves, they are {his} old friends...these last {seven} years at least," the audience laughs, we kiss, the kids gag, and the curtains close. Cute, no? Perfect, right? Hmm...

Speaking of Jane Austen, I would definitely describe our life together as a Jane Austen novel. Tales tales of intrigue, true love, and happy endings. Very predictable and extremely cliche, but altogether lovely and what everyone dreams of.

Too much? Yeah, I think so, too.

I would have never thought seven years ago, we would be where we are now. I thought we would be living next to his brother, in Utah. (Which would have been AWESOME, right Chris and Monica?)

I did know that no matter what he did, or where we were, Ben would make me happy, and we could have a good life. I knew he was a good catch then, and I still think so now. We have a good life together.

We just need to figure out what to do with our angels...

Boarding school? Do you think they have that for preschoolers?

J/K.

Okay, half J/K.

Never mind.



Back to the point.

B+E 4ever

My school ID-taken the semester we met.

Pictures taken on our anniversary.  So good looking. 

Music Warms My Heart.

After almost six years of searching, I have finally found a song that captures the way I feel about me and Ben.  I don't know if he would agree, since it is a little sappy, girl-in-love kind of song.   
I found this particular artist from two different blogs CJane and the Nienie Dialogues, her name is Mindy Gledhill.  The name of the song is All The Pennies, and it has a fun beat (you can listen to a clip of the song on Mindy's website).  The first line that caught my attention was "we don't even own a bathroom door".  You see the first apartment we had was a cave a basement apartment.  It was really old and had been hand dug; which made floors uneven, ceilings low, and a lot of other fun things that come with living in the basement.  One of the fun quirks of our apartment was there wasn't a door separating the toilet from the sleeping area.  I was really nervous about this, since going to the bathroom is a very private matter.  Not to mention that I didn't want my brand new husband to know what was going on.  Fortunately my handy father came the day before we got married and installed a closet-like sliding door.  We really loved that apartment.

I digress, back to the song:

The chorus:

All the pennies in the wishing wells
All the diamonds Tiffany’s could sell
All the riches put together
All the sunny California weather
Could not make me love you any better

You could give me all that I request
If you fancy, darling be my guest
But I’ll take less if more means having less of you
Who needs sequin shoes or private jets to Katmandu

Isn't that a cute song? 

This is for you, sweetheart.  Can we dance now?

It's for the kids. And for me.

{Disclaimer:} This is completely my point of view, and not Ben's- his side of the story is somewhat different.  If you want to know his version, you can ask him. 

Ben and I met at in an International Politics class at Salt Lake Community College in Salt Lake City, Utah.  It was not love at first site, but he had two things going for him, the first being his incredible good looks.  The second, he made me laugh. 

We started dating in October of 2004 and at the end of the semester, I wasn't sure I was ever going to see him again. 

After our final, we were driving around, wasting time until his next final, and until I had to go to work.  I found a Christmas card in the center console, and asked him if I could look at it.  (I might be noisy, but at least I am polite?)  He didn't care.  It was from a girl, not just any girl, but the girl he had dated right before me. 

"When did you break up with her?"

"Right before we started dating."

"How long did you date for?"

"Eight months."

"How did you break up with her?"

"I just stopped calling her and answering her texts". 

"Is that how you usually break up with girls?"

"Yep."

So sad.  From the card, and Ben's response, I really felt that this poor girl might not know that Ben had really broken up with her, that she was trying as hard as she could to make contact with the love of her life. 

Okay, maybe that is a little dramatic, but I am pretty sure sometime in my dating career, I probably made a similar move. 

There we were driving at the end of the semester, I was going to home to Virginia for Christmas, and I was not sure I was ever going to see Ben again.  I was trying to figure out if he was going to break up with me, or actually keep up with the relationship.
Here was the plan during my almost two weeks in Virginia:
We were going to text on Christmas.
That was it.  I was really disappointed, I wanted to call him every day, but I let him decide so I wouldn't seem desperate.  (It was something I was working on from previous dating experiences.)

Christmas Eve came and it was getting late.  I was getting anxious, so about 9:30 p.m. Eastern Daylight Time, I texted Ben.  I waited and waited and waited and waited. 
NOTHING.
Nothing Christmas Eve, nothing Christmas Day, nothing.  I was mad, sad, but finally apathetic.  I was planning the breakup in my head.  I asked everyone in my family what they would do, given the conversation that we had about how he breaks up with people.  It was pretty mixed- half said I was over reacting, the other half told me to move on.
Finally, the morning I flew out, I called him and when he picked up the phone, I was a little surprised.  I simply said, "Oh, I was just checking to see if you were still answering my phone calls."  I don't even remember what he said, but it didn't matter.  In my head, he hadn't answered my text, and he hadn't called me the entire time I was gone -we were done.  Final.  I didn't even buy him a Christmas gift.  I was planning on hitting the after Christmas sales, but after that little no text stunt, there was no way I was wasting my money.
I flew home and that night he texted me and asked if he could come over the next day.  Sure, great, now we were going to do this in person. 
He came by early.  With gifts.  I looked at the gifts and told him I left the gift for him in Virginia.  Okay, it was a half lie.  Technically the gifts I would have bought him were still in Virginia. 
I couldn't stand the awkwardness in my head anymore. 

"Why didn't you text me?  You said you would text me on Christmas, and I didn't hear from you.  Are you going to break up with me?"
"What are you talking about, of course I texted you.  You responded to my text on Christmas Eve."

"Why are you lying to me?"

He pulled out his cell phone and showed me the text message he had sent me and showed that about ten minutes later, he received a text that seemed to be my response. 

"I didn't get your text, and I assumed you were breaking up with me because you didn't answer me back."

"I did text you."

"Well I was gone almost two weeks, why didn't you want to talk to me more than just one text?"

"Because you were with your family, and I thought you would want to spend time with them."

"Oh."

"Here are your presents, Merry Christmas."

"I will have gifts for you to open tomorrow."

"You didn't really leave them in Virginia, did you?"

"Well...kind of..."

"Don't you feel stupid?"

"Yes, but I really did think you were breaking up with me."

A few weeks after that, Ben told me he loved me, and a month after that, we were engaged.  Three months later, we were married. 

Dating.  Almost in Love.

Engagement picture.

Five years later.

I am so grateful that we (I) didn't let a little un-received text message end us. 

He is still strikingly handsome and he still makes me laugh.

{Another Disclaimer}  I read this to Ben.  He interrupted me at least ten times to tell me that it was not how it happened, and that I had it all wrong.  Just so you know, this is my version.  This is how it went down in my head, and now on the blog.  I told him if he wants to tell his side, he can.  It's up to him.  This is my version.

The Art of Giving Gifts.

The day before we got married, Ben saw me breakdown in tears for the first time. It was really traumatic for both of us. It came from opening the presents that we bought each other. We were actually both really disappointed, but my emotions got the best of me. I thought my gift was perfect. I went to Bath and Body Works and bought a massage kit and some candles. {Romantic, right?} I went completely over budget, but I thought it was worth it because he would love it so much. I opened my gift, and it was a clock. What? A clock, really? Why would you buy me a clock? What is wrong with you? Why would I want a clock? What does this say about our relationship? I was upset, however, I thought I would feel better when he opened his gift and realized what a great decision he made by marrying me. He opened his gift, and looked at me and said, really, lotions? Why would you get this for me? This is not for me, this is for you. WHAT!? Oh, that did it. I was mad. How dare he accuse me of buying his gift for me? I cried all the way home. I was devastated. Luckily my dad calmed me down by telling me that it would be okay, gift giving was hard, even for people that had been married for a long time.

It took us one round of birthdays and one Christmas to realize we were going about gift giving the wrong way for us. Now we give money or gift certificates, or we buy our own gifts and let the other wrap them. We will throw in a surprise or two, but we generally pick out our own gifts. Is this weird? Probably, but it works for us. We are never disappointed and we are both happy at the end of the day. I think that counts for something.

I know that this season is not just about gifts, but it is a fun part of the tradition.  This is the way we have a drama free celebration- I don't go over budget on something he doesn't like, and I don't get a clock. 

 

 

Our Christmas "tree".